Take your average wholesome holiday movie, and you’ll get the message that Christmas is supposed to be about slowing down, reconnecting, and spending real time together with loved ones.
But this holiday season, evidence suggests the biggest distraction from the Christmas togetherness won’t be toys, television, or even work emails, it will be smartphones. According to the children’s commissioner for England, that’s something parents need to take seriously, starting with their own behaviour.
Speaking to the Press Association, Dame Rachel de Souza, the children’s commissioner, urged parents to lead by example this Christmas by turning off their phones during family time. Children, she said, are “crying out” for attention from the adults in their lives . It’s a message that resonates in a world where being constantly accessible and “always on” has become the default.
This isn’t just a matter of parenting preferences, etiquette, or heartfelt nostalgia for pre-digital holidays. It’s a modern tech issue rooted in how digital devices, apps, algorithms, and notifications are designed to capture users’ attention. Nearly half of parents with children under 18 say they plan to allow phones at the Christmas dinner table this year, while research by More in Common for Yondr found that almost four in 10 adults feel smartphones have disrupted their Christmas in some way. The technology we rely on daily doesn’t pause for the holidays, and that’s the issue.
Attention economy vs family time
What many fail to realise is that smartphones aren’t just harmless gadgets; they’re tools companies use to profit from consumers. These powerful pieces of technology are sophisticated software ecosystems built on attention-driven business models, powered by AI-driven recommendation engines and platforms that constantly compete for attention. Every second of your attention is an opportunity to gain money.
Today, tech notifications and digital alerts can feel inescapable, especially when it comes to the devices in our own pockets. Social media feeds refresh endlessly with content tailored to our interests, notifications are engineered to trigger dopamine responses, and AI-curated content can keep users scrolling longer than intended. Even a “quick check” can easily turn into 10 minutes of inattentiveness toward the real world. When parents stare at the screen during dinner, children don’t just see distractions; they see a powerful message about priorities.
Holidays as a digital reset
Dame Rachel admitted she’s been guilty of using her phone at the table herself. But she stressed that setting clear expectations for everyone, not just kids, is essential. “We can’t talk about banning for the kids if we’re not doing it ourselves,” she said. Her point reframes the issue as less about controlling children’s tech use and more about modelling healthy digital habits.
Experts argue that the holiday break offers a rare opportunity to reset and reassess family tech habits. Pete Etchells, a psychology professor at Bath Spa University in the UK, told BBC News that the festive break offers a natural opportunity to talk with children about their relationship with technology. The goal isn’t to guilt or shame, but rather to bring mindfulness to how tech integrates with our lives and awareness to when tech adds value and when it quietly takes something away.
That idea aligns with the idea of digital wellbeing, a movement increasingly shaped by research into screen time, mental health, and human–computer interaction. Maybe you’ve noticed that smartphones now come with all sorts of screen time reports, focus modes, and app limits, all powered by sophisticated software that tracks our every keystroke. But ultimately, tools alone don’t change habits, and without open conversations about digital wellbeing at home, these features often go unused.
Online safety in an AI-driven world
The commissioner’s comments also coincide with the release of a new online guide designed to help parents navigate children’s digital lives. It addresses not just screen time, but also online safety, negative digital experiences, and emerging technologies such as artificial intelligence. Teenagers involved in the guide’s development said they see negative online experiences, such as being contacted by strangers or seeing explicit content, as an unavoidable part of existing online.
That sense of inevitability is concerning, especially in an era where AI-generated content, deepfakes, and algorithmic amplification can easily blur reality. Dame Rachel stressed the need for parents to “talk early and talk often” about life online, not just when something goes wrong. These conversations are becoming as essential as traditional safety talks, especially as children interact with AI-powered platforms at younger ages.
Small tech changes, big impact
Fortunately, the solutions to this issue aren’t complicated if you have the willpower. It’s all about leading by example with phone usage, and practising what you preach with usage restrictions. For example, Health Professionals for Safer Screens advocate for parents to create family plans for device use, while Arabella Skinner suggests using a physical box to store phones during meal times. These simple, low-tech solutions can cut through the high-tech distractions, restoring eye contact and genuine presence, which are elements no app can offer.
Interestingly, there’s also evidence that suggests children themselves are uneasy about the amount of time they spend online. A recent Ofcom report found that children aged eight to 14 spend an average of nearly three hours a day online, with a significant chunk of that time late at night. Many voiced concerns about the mental drain of “endless screentime” and so-called “brain rot,” proving that young people are not blind to the downsides of digital saturation.
Leading by example in a hyperconnected age
Ultimately, putting down the screens at Christmas is about something deeper than holiday tradition; it’s about refortifying family relationships in an increasingly tech-saturated world. Switching off the phones shows children that it is possible and easy to establish healthy tech boundaries, helps them learn when to disconnect, and normalises taking breaks for actual human interaction. And in our hyperconnected world this holiday season, that lesson might be the most meaningful gift of all.
Don’t spend too long online with this one. Holiday shopping may be nearing its final stretch, but Amazon Prime members still have time to pick up gift-ready tech before Dec. 25.
