If, like Roy Keane, you believe Michael Carrick isn’t a long-term manager for Manchester United, then you’ve got to say who is and somehow prove it. He can’t. You can’t.
Any facts or stats offered as proof are all irrelevant. It’s all been tried before and not worked. The only route they’ve not gone down is to appoint a high-achieving lower-league manager. They probably think too much of themselves to do that, even despite their litany of failures, though there’s nothing to suggest it would be a worse decision than any of the others, so perhaps Andy Woodman at Bromley, top of League Two, is the answer?
It might sound mad but appointing proven multiple title winners didn’t work, did it? Appointing a rising star didn’t either, nor did appointing someone who had been an FA Cup runner-up in 2008/09. People who have won things, people who haven’t; they’ve all been tried in the last 13 years.
The result against Arsenal (read 16 Conclusions here) is no indication of anything really, especially against such a somehow feeble division-leading side, beyond investing badly needed self-belief. Maybe that’s all they need? Roy says they need ‘a bigger, better manager’ but they’ve had plenty of them before. How’s that worked out?
It’s virtually impossible to argue for or against any manager, Carrick or anyone else, because all the precedents have been exhausted. Talking sensibly about it isn’t possible. History mocks you at every turn. There is no logic to be obeyed, no sense to be applied. Guesswork will be dressed up as some sort of pretentious executive problem-solving but that will be the sort of bullsh*t middle-management rubbish adopted to pretend it isn’t just a guess.
So how do they go about deciding? It can’t just be the results. It can’t even just be how the team plays, though both must be in the equation. They need someone who will represent the club well, not be a dogmatic nutter, be able to inspire players and fans and just look like they know what they’re doing. It’s all very nebulous and based on gut feeling as much as facts and stats. Michael has a nice beard; that may be enough. Being a serial winner across Europe wasn’t, so why not judge them by the quality of facial hair?
At no point in the past 13 years has anybody who makes decisions at Old Trafford done anything at all that might suggest that they have the first clue about what to do. The current incumbents may be the most stupid yet, with a series of shudderingly crass decisions.
“He knows the club” has always been one of those football cliches spouted by mind-in-neutral pundits, along with the senseless concept of being a ‘natural’ goalscorer, like it’s somehow innate to some human beings to be able to kick a ball between two sticks.
But a man that fully comprehends the situation he is in – both literally and metaphysically – is probably a greater indicator than anything connected with tactics. Someone they’re all just comfortable with would likely be a relief after previous purveyors of rigid dogmas. Above all, they have to be able to ignore the slurry of bad advice from the owners and their lackeys because they are serial failures that embarrass themselves at every turn in return for a lot of money.
The one advantage they have is that no-one expects anything of them. Having been average to poor for so long, there’s no pressure. And with no European or cup football to play, they have a great advantage over those who do. So in that sense Carrick has a great chance. That said, he could be undermined by Jim Ratcliffe’s unerring ability to make the wrong decision.
But if things continue in the current vein, what arguments could you make against Carrick’s appointment? You can’t recommend anything that hasn’t already been proven not to work. Against Arsenal, they looked much more like the team that was hated so much 20 years ago. It was like seeing someone wake up from a coma.
While there is easy criticism for appointing Carrick, there’s easy criticism of anyone you care to name. There’s no guarantee it’ll work and no proof it won’t. In Carrick’s favour, he’s got six points from six against the top two teams. Yes, he’ll need to prove himself against bottom-third teams, but they don’t need to be in a hurry about this. June will be early enough to decide.
The remainder of the season will be their best illustration of Carrick’s talent or otherwise and they won’t get such a comprehensive trial period with anyone else, but if he continues to be successful, what would the point be in changing?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s name is used as a warning for nostalgia appointments. But if he ‘fails’ as well as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who finished third and second in his two full seasons, while reaching semi-finals and one final, surely that would be a success, considering the depths to which they have sunk. It would be both deluded and entitled to think anything else.
