Liverpool and Brentford gave entirely wrong first impressions, while Sunderland, Elliot Anderson and possibly Arsenal were easy to gauge straight away.
The opening fixtures of this Premier League season were reversed last weekend, making this an opportune time to revisit the kneejerk reactions from way back in August.
Some were pretty decent actually. Others, well…
10) Liverpool will break the goal record
Look, it was a different time. Liverpool had just completely basketballed their way to the first of seven consecutive ludicrously late victories across three competitions, at which point the infernal discussion focused on whether they were ‘lucky’ or not.
It turns out there might have been an element of papering-over-the-cracks fortune at play.
Liverpool and Arne Slot in particular were high on their own guff at this point, the manager declaring: “We are a team that likes to attack. We are a team that wants to score goals.”
He even told Jamie Carragher to support someone else when issues with their tactical structure was pointed out. In fairness, Slot did well to engage in a media interview without mentioning Paris Saint-Germain.
That “team that likes to attack” has slowed to the point of drawing blanks against Manchester City, Nottingham Forest, Leeds and Arsenal, with Liverpool’s goals for – and indeed against – column identical to Brentford’s.
9) At least one of the four out-of-contract managers announce their exit before the end of the season
Thank you very kindly, Oliver Glasner, for that hilariously depressing press conference in which Crystal Palace supporters had it confirmed that their captain and manager would be leaving imminently.
It remains fanciful, the thought Glasner might stick around until the expiration of his contract in the summer with all that water under the bridge threatening to submerge Selhurst Park.
But that is the plan for now. Of the other three coaches, Vitor Pereira was sacked in September and neither Marco Silva nor Andoni Iraola have committed their futures beyond the end of the season yet.
8) Parker and Potter are sacked
It took West Ham five more games – four defeats and a win over the manager who would ultimately succeed him at the London Stadium – to end their Graham Potter experiment.
Scott Parker, however, will probably do just enough to cling on. There is no suggestion his position is under any real risk at Burnley, which is mildly absurd to say of a manager winless in 14 league games and 10 points off safety but still.
7) Leeds and Sunderland will stay up
There is an infinitesimal chance that Sunderland implode without Granit Xhaka and a sufficient number of the nine teams below them get enough of their collective acts together to capitalise.
But the Black Cats are probably safe and really have felt as much since basically the thrashing of West Ham on the opening day.
Leeds, even for their upturn in form under Daniel Farke, are not quite out of the woods yet. They have a six-point and Nottingham Forest-shaped cushion to 18th, and a fanbase which will not believe they have avoided relegation until their 2026/27 Premier League fixture list is published.
6) Brentford will go down
Well sh*t. To be fair, it is still ‘difficult to envisage Keith Andrews making much sense of the hand he has been dealt’ even with 23 games worth of ample evidence that he really bloody can and has.
The bloke is a Manager of the Year contender, and certainly one of the best in 2025 overall, with Brentford’s Premier League safety rendered an entirely moot discussion point by November. Even Martin O’Neill must be coming round.
5) Erling Haaland will break his own goal record
The great contradiction has returned. Haaland is on a run of one goal – a penalty – in nine Manchester City games, having simultaneously scored a patently daft 26 goals in 32 appearances.
This is already a 20-goal Premier League season, beating the career-best tallies of Michael Owen, Jermain Defoe, Dennis Bergkamp and Nicolas Anelka by early January of what currently has the distinct air of a disappointing individual campaign.
The ridiculousness weighs heavy.
4) Arsenal will win a trophy
It doesn’t feel especially destined in the aftermath of a chastening home defeat to an only slightly less clown car Manchester United, but it is still possible to crowbar mentions of a Quadruple into Arsenal headlines so if they fall short of winning the entire lot they are disgraceful bottlers.
They are top of the Premier League and Champions League, winning heading into a home second leg of the Carabao Cup semi-final and have been drawn at home to League One relegation battlers Wigan in the FA Cup fourth round.
As said in August: ‘This is surely a side designed to excel in knockout football once Viktor Gyokeres gets up to speed – if indeed the pub striker ever will.’
The wait goes on, both in terms of the trophy and what appears to have been the final piece of the wrong jigsaw.
3) Nottingham Forest and Crystal Palace will reign in Europe
It’s not exactly been a convincing march through Europe for either Forest or Palace, who have squandered their preposterous in-built advantages as Premier League clubs to toil through their respective league phases.
Palace stumbled through to take a seeded knockout phase play-off spot in the Conference League, which Forest are likely to copy at best in the Europa with one game remaining.
Glasner’s side remain the favourites in UEFA’s tertiary club competition, perhaps buoyed by the fact that supposed closest contenders Strasbourg recently lost their manager to Chelsea and replaced him with actual Gary O’Neil.
But Forest are unlikely to hold up their end of the bargain against a tough Europa field untainted by the sort of stupidity characterised by last season’s finalists. Does Sean Dyche really have the facilities for Aston Villa, Roma, Porto, Real Betis or Lyon?
2) There will be an England bolter
Get and indeed in. There was a mention of the expensive uncapped Englishmen signed last summer who never really stood a chance of breaking into the Three Lions picture ahead of the World Cup, from Jamie Gittens to Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall via Jacob Ramsey and Omari Hutchinson.
But this is the good stuff:
‘Then there is Elliot Anderson and Archie Gray, who could easily time their pushes perfectly to catch the eye of Thomas Tuchel.’
Even in this farcical Forest season, Anderson stood out almost immediately as an option for both England and the elite at club level. He was called up by Tuchel in September, has played every game since and will be seen in the background of some performative Declan Rice swearing when England are knocked out.
1) The Big Six is the top six
F**king Spurs.
